Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Dreams Creeping In With Their Bittersweet Ways

Snowing and Sewing
Just last week I was musing on how it is hard to find time for self care as a mother, but just as soon as I did, things shifted. Isn't that how it typically goes? O started throwing out phrases like, "Daddy read!" and "My bed!" and when asked if she wanted to have milk on the couch and to then join Daddy and Sis for reading time and to sleep in her bed in there, she gave us a big, "YES!" and there has been no looking back. Now, nearly a week later I am getting used to having more hours of free time in the house and more time to take care of myself and home responsibilities. She still wakes up for milk once in the night and then in the early hours of the morning, but this is a big shift for us. One that is welcome even if it's a bit bittersweet as she's also started helping herself to the potty a few times a day and talking more and more and wanting to sit without a booster at the table and just generally growing up very quickly as she prepares to turn two in February. As we've decided to not welcome anymore children into our family at this time, this feels like an even bigger shift than the first time as we enter into this next phase.

This next phase. This coming year. We are thrilled to have it before us with no big changes to be expected. No saying goodbye to beloved pets, no leaving jobs, no starting jobs, no having babies, no selling or buying houses. Just a good ol' regular year settling into our new home and that is just what we plan to do - to settle in and build on our dream for this home while seeing what it feels like to just BE together. We will start with building our big garden, a sandbox, compost bins and a playhouse and then build from there in the years to come. We will also continue making changes to reduce our waste and to live more and more frugally, while focusing on our time as a family out in nature above all else. This all feels right and it all feels really exciting. 

And the other day? We received our first dusting of snow and while E and the girls went out to explore and start a fire in the pit, I stayed in puttering around my sewing space and planning out some projects to come. When we first looked at this house I laughed at the idealizing of it all as I stood there with E and our realtor and dreamed aloud about sitting back there sewing while the girls played out back and it's quite a treat to see some of that unfolding in small doses, and with the holidays and these busy first months in our new home about to be behind us and a sleeping baby and new year on the horizon I am excited to get back to my fabric bins and create all of the things that have been on my mind waiting to come out as we made it through those times that were busy by necessity, but draining too. Now we move away from that and back to filling up our cups with the things that make us feel most like us. Mmmmmm. It's so good to be here and only going to get better as we continue to help our hopes for our lives unfold.  

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