Thursday, July 25, 2013


This week I am grateful for...

...a Sunday afternoon hiking at Powder Valley with E and Bugs.

...nursing my baby girl while hiking up a large hill and feeling like supermom.

...watching a dear walk and eat in the woods with my daughter on my chest.

...nieces and a nephew that I love so very much.

...a daughter who laughs and smiles when dogs head her way.

...sales on used clothes to dress our sweet girl comfortably and beautifully and for very little cost.

...a doe and fawn crossing my path in Sioux Passage park.

...a short Saturday stroll through the farmers market with my family and tasty produce to enjoy.

...being able to nurture and comfort my baby girl in the ways she needs. loving Mama and her finding happiness. carriers and keeping my girl close in that way, we both love the moments spent this way each day. love love love love.

What are you feeling grateful for this week?


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A So Good Very Wonderful Day

Today was so simple and so normal but very wonderful. Upon waking and opening the door for the dogs for my first time of the day, I knew it was shaping up to be a beautiful one with a clear blue sky and slightly cool early morning air. Rather than worrying about little details or thinking things through to much I followed small yearnings and saw where they would take us. After breakfast, our usual period of sitting outside with the dogs and a sweet little nap in which she nursed and we rocked and I sang and we snuggled, I changed her diaper and stuck her into a carrier and we were off on a walk to take in the neighborhood and help some fresh air into our lungs. 

Another short nap and a bit of lunch and we were off to the library to renew my card, gather books for us both and to take in the newly opened community garden. Not wanting to head home so soon I took a side road the back way to a park across the river and little Buggy enjoyed swinging just as long as I would allow for in the bright sun and threw out so many laughs and giggles that filled my heart with some much needed joy. We then retreated to the shade of nearby trees and hopped from one to another while examining their different barks and leaves and when it was time to go we cuddled in for another nursing session before hitting the road. 

And back at home? Some time out back with the dogs before another snuggly nap and before we knew it little miss was lighting up with smiles as her Daddy's truck turned the corner and then we headed off for another walk, her on my chest and my hand holding onto one from the man I love. So good. So so good. More time out back and a nursing to sleep and I would call that a perfectly ordinary but wonderful day.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Just Write

Today the temperature is supposed to reach nearly one hundred degrees, it'll be a hot one, but you wouldn't know it from in here, for in here it is always raining. The sound machine chugs along, throwing out a constant stream of a strong Spring rain showers, blocking out noises of cars charging past our corner lot, neighborhood dogs barking through the night, and our own clanks and clatters in the evening hours when baby girl is already fast asleep in our room.

I rub the sleepies from my eyes, roll out of bed and visit the bathroom before retreating back to this rain-filled room before the sun comes to find me and call me out to tend to my responsibilities. If only I could smell the rain as well, rather than a bit of sweat and morning breathe of garlic from the concoction I have been having us swallow to help ward off illness.

But anyway, it has been sunny and hot for days now. Our garden enjoys the sunshine, as do we. Saturday after the lawn being mowed and the baby being nursed and snuggled through a nap, the three of us met back up on the front porch and were enjoying a few rare moments to ourselves when I spotted them from across the corner. I saw them zone in on us and almost perk up as we came into sight. These people are always coming door to door around here, the same ones have been to our door more than a handful of times, but we were in their sight now, fleeing would be pointless.

So, we stayed put and as they approached us I let my husband take the lead. When they started talking religion he said he would rather not, yet they pushed forward. We listened kindly and let them have a moment of our time while I continued playing with my daughter and the outdoor gear catalogue we had just fetched from the mailbox. His talk began with mentioning marriage and divorce and how there is so much of it in our society...okay, yes, there is quite a bit...and how strong families are important...yes, agreed...but then it turned sour. With his foot resting on the stoop near my own and knee bent in my direction he quickly turned the discussion toward homosexuality and mentioned how if someone is homosexual it's okay...hmm..are we going to agree on something?...but then quickly said that it was a sin though and no different from adultery.

My mental brakes slammed down hard and I felt myself jolt in the chair beneath me. While I had been mostly quiet during this visit I promptly spoke up, telling him I need to ask him to leave, that he has his beliefs and I have my own and they are very different and that is fine but we just aren't going to be talking anymore. I was reeling myself in and keeping my composure and trying to stay calm and peaceful with my sweet baby girl watching all the while. As they walked away I felt so enraged, so intruded upon in my own home and was unable to shake this feeling for days, but, holding my daughter up in the air for a kiss and a snuggle I loudly proclaimed to her that our beliefs include loving everybody. Because, to me, two people loving each other regardless of their sex is in no way comparable to an individual cheating on the one they proclaimed to love and nobody is welcome to say such things in my home, in front of my daughter.

Then, on Sunday, we ran into an old colleague of my husbands and he spoke of his current job and where he was living, mentioning that him and his partner of 28 years had recently split, selling their old house and buying two smaller ones on the same block because they felt they had a good run and while they weren't in a romantic relationship anymore they were still best friends so they couldn't see living so far apart. That sounds more amicable than most divorces I have seen, that's for sure.  And while this doesn't prove anything, it made me feel better and caused me to smile in a very real way because I believe love is love is love and whoever it is that I pray to believes the same.


Linking up with Just Write

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Slice of Life: Take 10

Perfect Combo / First Garden Treasures / For Garlic Lemonade / Kale-Splosion  / Bath and Books in the Early Morning / Tasty Supper

Our garden is small but mighty and giving us treasures for our bellies. Tonight our basil was whipped up into a dairy-free pesto, spread over toast and topped with fresh from the garden tomatoes...a very good choice. We also enjoyed our first harvest of kale over the weekend and there is plenty more to come. 

And the garlic? That was for our garlic lemonade. We have all been a bit clogged up and foggy in the head, with E having it the worst, so I thought it was time to try out the garlic lemonade recipe I had been eyeing in Naturally Healthy Babies and Children. We were worried it would be hard to swallow, but I think it's pretty tasty and I am glad to have this recipe in our arsenal. Now let us all hope this little bug passes us by just as fast as it came.

Just hopping around here, but you see that yellow box Iz is riding in? (since deleted) She loves it. I pull her all around the rug and she smiles and laughs. I love it too. We had to put her in disposables for a bit to treat what we thought was a yeast rash while we treated her cloth and while we now doubt that was what was really going on and she is back in her normal diapers I'm glad to have that yellow box to make her smile. 

And now back to snuggling my love. Hope you all are having a wonderful week.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013


This week I am grateful for... many ready to ripen tomatoes on the many plants in our garden.

...a warm bath with an Anne Lamott book in one hand and a cup of hot tea in the other.

...a wonderful sister who deserves all the best that life has to offer. slices with peanut butter.

...a group of other mothers to turn to for support and advice. skies, plenty of sunshine and a lovely family to enjoy it with. plums, nectarines and peaches.

...the ability to make as much milk as my baby needs and maybe the opportunity to be able to share some with others.

...being Iz's Mom.

What are you feeling most graetful for this week?


Monday, July 15, 2013

Just Me

I grabbed up my computer and hurried off to the bedroom this morning for a little time to write before the day getting started and E heading off to work, but here I am left wondering what I even have to say. It was a full and mostly great weekend. On Sunday we went to a Unitarian church to check it out as a place we may be able to find some community while I would be free to explore my beliefs and it was a nice place with nice people but I'm not sure if it will be right for us. It might be, but when sitting down in a pew with program in hand I started exploring what was inside and in the "joys and concerns" column there was a listing: "(Woman's Name), who is at home resting after being hit with a bullet on church grounds last Tuesday evening." E promptly said we wouldn't be coming there at night and I felt a little uneasy, knowing anything can happen anywhere, but being fully aware that there are some places in our fair city where those things are more likely. And with the anxiety I have experienced in the past couple of months being almost fully surrounding something bad happening to myself or the ones I love, well, this was not helpful. These are the times I wish I was raised with a strong religion and consistently given the time and support to explore my beliefs when I was young. I realize even then the belief system you are raised in may not be where you end up, but it would have been a good place to start or at least give me a foundation to work from. We went to Christian churches as a family on and off growing up, we went to a tiny little country church with my grandma as well, and an occasional church with my stepmother, but I don't feel like I ever received much of a religious education and feel a bit lost with it all and now everything began bubbling to the surface again as my anxiety came up and also as I approach raising a child of my own and wanting her to not have to feel the way I do in years to come. This journey of trying to figure it all out is a hard one but I am reading and exploring as much as time allows because it is an important one for me. Maybe I'll write about it from time to time because one thing I have learned is that it is not helpful for me to keep everything bottled up inside.

But yes, back to the weekend, we received some really good news on Friday (that I'll share at a later date when I have the all-clear from those involved) and it's kept me squealing with delight each time I think of it. Day-to-day life is going to taken an extra leap into awesome-town come late Summer.

And then there's our garden and the kale, cucumber and tomato we enjoyed this weekend. I love Summer.


Wednesday, July 10, 2013


Today I am grateful for...

...a skin to skin nap with my baby to start the day with connection. husband, how hard he works for our family and the love he has for us all.

...knowing a best friend has found a wonderful partner to spend her life with.

...water and healthy food to nourish myself and my family. mama tribe from nursing mom's group. gratitude journal to end each night on a positive note.

...finding my husband's wedding ring under the rug after a stressful day of it being missing.

...nature and a baby who is more entertained by her treasures than any toy money could buy.

...tasty plums shared with my daughter.

...having my brother, sister, and our families all together for a photo and a picnic, leaving me with a full heart and lots of photos for the wall.

...a new niece or nephew on the way come January. I am so happy for my sister-in-law, brother, nephew and our entire family.

What are you feeling grateful for lately?