Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Never Dull

Life as I's mom is incredible, anxiety-producing, often hilarious, and never dull. Yesterday we traveled to my own mom's house and the morning went so smoothly that I once again felt like we had hit our stride and like I had a handle on this whole motherhood business. A relaxing stroll through a thrift store left us both with a fuller wardrobe and when shopping for nursery plants with Grammy Isadora had everyone flashing smiles her way as she flashed many of her own.

Later that afternoon things got interesting as she was holding her mouth open and would never let it fully close. All the while she would give out a breathy sound, much like she does when you try to let her explore any solid foods. On a walk in her stroller, not her favorite thing, but necessary with the heat of an afternoon in the 80's, she finally seemed asleep, but when looking down her mouth was gaped open in the same fashion and she was so still I insisted on checking to make sure she was okay, convinced that she was having some kind of allergic reaction to the early Spring air and couldn't possible be breathing. My checking on her, paired with a rumbling motorcycle, caused her to wake and the tears to start rolling and the day didn't get any easier from that point on.

And today? Today was like the kind of comedy that has you laughing but is almost too painful to watch. The mouth gaping started early on and my usual nursing-every-two-hours-like-clockwork baby refused to latch on for over five hours. I was dragging the pump around to make up for the couple of feedings she had skipped and trying all sorts of tricks to get her to take some milk, even if it wasn't from me. Turning to Dr. Google only had me more afraid as I saw posts about 7 day nursing strikes. With a baby who won't take a bottle, isn't interested in a cup and is obsessed with nursing, the thought of 7 days of refusing the breast was terrifying. Luckily, with a trick of her swing and some Bob Dylan (of course) she fell asleep for a short spell and I scooped her up and to the breast right away once her eyes popped open, tricking her into eating before she had a chance to remember her sore gums. 

Often when I tell my sister about I's behaviors, she says "Of course she would", it's almost a running joke by now...Of course she would throw up when getting even a bit of solid food into her mouth, Of course she would be the one to not want to nurse while teething, Of course she would scream when anyone else dare to touch her. Having a sensitive and particular baby is quite the adventure, but the wonderful thing is her ups are just as intense as her downs and we love her through every minute of it, as we climb those hills with her to enjoy her ups and as we are all toughing it out through the lows. No, life with I is never ever dull.


Linking up with Just Write.

Monday, April 29, 2013


Today I am thankful for...

...these gooberific animals. They are so silly and make for an endless cleaning list, but they always make all three of us smile and my ol' girl can always provide the comfort I need with just a chin rested on my knee.

...the little terry cloth teether to hold ice cubes for my teething baby.

...a husband who is kind and loving.

...warm days that allow for spending plenty of time outdoors with my daughter.

...thrift stores and the ability to clothe myself, my daughter and my home for small amounts while also reusing. Everything is blooming and turning green (and many other beautiful colors) and it has done wonders for my mood.

...friends near and far.

What are you feeling most grateful for today?


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Milk and Lavender

She wants to be close but in control of the closeness, something I can certainly understand even if it is hard to resist pulling her in snuggly against my stomach and chest to feel her heart beat against my own. I settle for a hand on her stomach to feel her breath as my eyes do all the exploring, they travel across her tiny bump of a nose, her smooth eyelids and full eyelashes and the curves of her ears with a small edge of skin along the top much like my own. My skin can feel her warmth radiating from her own and my nose catches wafts of lavender mixed with the sweet smell of milk on her breath and the less than sweet bits of milk on both of our clothing. As she sleeps I dream of a future with room for her to roam in and with nature, feel soft soil squishing between her toes and with the ability to know the trees and creatures by name. I want to give her everything that I have found beautiful in this life while also watching her identify beauty all her own. Parenting is hard in ways that were incomprehensible until she was here in my arms, it is frightening and terrifying to want to do the right thing but to have to decide those right things all on your own, with no other to point blame at if those rights turn out to be wrongs. There is only growing and changing and just really it is so much of the growing on your part that is the most surprising of all. The person I am becoming is required to find confidence and a certain bluntness I am not accustomed to but that I am hopeful I can grow into as time continues to move with no ability to slow it down, I can only hope to catch it from time to time and snuggle it close for those sweet wafts of milk and lavender.


Linking up with Just Write

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


Today I am thankful for...

...this silly grey cat. She can drive me crazy with her catish ways at times, but she is as sweet as cats come and such a great friend to our daughter already. 

...knowing that my family is safe and sound.

...a job opening that will allow my brother and his family to move back this summer while he also continues to do what he loves. I thought they planned on staying where they were forever, so this is the greatest surprise. sister having goals to be back by Summer 2014. To think, in 15 months we will all be together again. The anticipation is almost too much, but it is an anticipation I am grateful to have.

...a husband that works to understand my past experiences and how they have shaped who I am today and how I approach the everyday, integral to our communication, these conversations. Mom. She's had her own rocky road to travel and our relationship has had it's ups and downs, but I am forever grateful to have her in my life.

...pumpkin muffins brought to me bath-side when the day didn't go as I had hoped.

...the kind and caring people that keep this world going round.

What are you thankful for today?


Thursday, April 11, 2013


She had a long day. A morning spent on my chest tending to the basil planter and making garden plans with E, followed by too much time in a carseat in a vehicle low on freon but high on wind, of which she is not a fan, as we were firmly reminded of yesterday during our long morning walk and an attempted afternoon picnic while everything fluttered each and every way. As we purchased a bit of soil and returned items of no use to us she was joyful, receiving "how cutes" and "I love those cheeks" from many. Yet, the car left her with a sweaty brow and a turned up lip and as we lie here together, her belly full of milk and eyes softly closed, I can't help but stroke my fingers across her hair a bit crispy with dried sweat and cheeks a bit flushed from the warmth of the day. These moments help to bring a much needed balance to our days.

From Sunday...


Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Today I am grateful for... tails that make my girl chuckle as they sweep across her face. upcoming weekend with zero plans or obligations.

...the ability to access healthy organic foods and clean drinkable water.

...a strong-backed husband who can walk our baby to sleep before placing her in bed for her first stretch of sleep.

...a sister who can help ease my worries with short phone calls.

...being able to visit with my brother and nephew during lunch at my Mom's on Saturday. refunds, we really needed those.

...warmer weather heading our way.

What are you thankful for today?


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Slice of Life: Take 9

My Favorite Feet / Sugar Stand-In / My Favorite Room / Roxy Baby / A Colorful Closet / Sweet Reminders / Sweetest Pooch

I'll tell you what, life has been crazy this past week and a half. We traveled to visit my sister and had a wonderful time seeing them all and having the kiddos together, but on Sunday when we went to leave we faced a snow storm that left us with over a foot of snow and us traveling in it. It took us seven hours to get home when it would normally take four and I was in a state of stress the entire time due to the conditions. More than once I said, "We have no right having a baby on the road in these conditions!" and I'm sure E just loved having me along for that ride. I tried my best to keep my stress to myself as to not place more stress on our capable driver, but I just couldn't help it a few times. Had we known how bad it would be there is no way we would have been in that car and I know we will never get ourselves into that situation again, but who would have known the first weekend of Spring would give us such a surprise? Just glad that's over with and that we have good memories of our visit to look back on. 

Upon returning I was set to get our house back in order and get started on Spring, but after a busy Monday of unpacking and catching up on laundry, our girl ended up with a stomach virus of some sort and we were knee deep in vomit, strange diapers, and a baby who only wanted to sleep upright on our shoulders and chest for a couple of days. This past Friday she finally seemed back to herself, but each day other than Sunday we have had a vomit episode or two with her otherwise acting normally. At her six month checkup today we asked about the vomiting and there were no other signs of illnesses and infections, so the doctor wasn't concerned, but I have to say it is doing me in. Our girl had serious spit-up for the first few months, but has been nearly spit-up free since and this is like that but in much larger quantities, with force behind it and totally out of the blue. It hasn't happened while in public yet (other than in the car) and I'm kind of nervous to even go out much until it's stopped. Even when she is in her Ergo facing me, she will soak herself, my chest and shirt (I've had a filled bra or two) and while I try to catch as much as I can in a burp cloth, there will always be a puddle on the floor. While I know things happen, I just can't imagine dealing with all of that on the go unless I have to. If anyone has any insight on all this I would love to hear. 

With all of that, vet visits for a sore-eyed pooch, day-to-day responsibilities and with events every day in the past weekend for Easter we have been more busy than ever and I have had zero time to catch my breathe, but this weekend has nothing scheduled and I am hoping to finally catch up with myself and am crossing my fingers that we will be puke free before then. Once we are we will also be diving back into our baby led weaning adventures, but we are holding off on any more of that to take anything extra out of the equation. 

As you can imagine, I have had no time to comment on everyone's blogs, but I am reading and admiring via Iphone once I falls asleep but wants me next to her during her naps. Here's hoping I can find some breathing room soon, but regardless we are still charging forward and enjoying our time as a family. Plus, the predicted temperature for Saturday is near seventy and I am planning on soaking in every last warm drop of sunshine.