Sunday, December 30, 2012

Oh Hey!

Remember me? Kind of? Sort of? Maybe at least a little bit? I'm still here and chugging along, enjoying being a Mom to my very high needs baby even though that high needs part can get super tough, hence my not writing here often. We think if we can at least get more of a handle on figuring out her nap needs and catching her at the right times to get enough sleep we'll be golden, so that's the plan right now.  I'm convinced a well-rested baby equals a happy home and while she sleeps pretty well most nights, naps are hard to come by and we are still figuring it all out. No worries though, for I happen to have a Grade A husband that is just as committed to making life with this little girl just as wonderful as can be and who is a perfect partner through this journey. Without him you would probably find me passed out face down in the little bit of snow that is currently gracing our yard while the dogs trampled over my body. His dedication to our family and the well-being of each of us and our home is so comforting. Rather than watching movies or passing out on the couch when he gets home from a full day of work, he sweeps the floors, does the dishes, plays with little miss, and often cooks us supper while I nurse her, whatever he can do to contribute. I really lucked out with that one.

Our time has been very full lately with caring for out little Buggy, but also full of rearranging our home, enjoying the holidays together and with our families, and dreaming up plans and wishes for the new year to come. New Years is in my top two on favorite holidays and I always look forward to the fresh year of endless possibilities. Happy late Christmas and early New Years to you all. I hope these days are filled with so much goodness for each and every one of you.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 5

So Very Thankful for Firsts / Diaper Duty / A Stocking For Iz / Gifts From Friends now Decorate Isadora's Letter

This week has been moving more slowly than the last. The days seem longer, but that is probably because of the nights feeling longer as well. For the past week or so I have been having the worst time trying to settle my mind enough to fall asleep. No worries though, E and I have plans to find some kind of book light to use in the evenings, as reading to sleep has always worked well for me in the past. I think part of it has also been my achey body. My knees have been aching a lot in the past month or so. In fact, today I was thinking that I should go ahead and start slowly trying to shed a little of the extra weight to see if that would help a bit on it's own. I thought this while eating chocolate chip cookies, but you know, that's how these things sometimes go. We are all doing okay though. I spent yesterday afternoon working on secret Christmas projects for my love after putting Iz down for a long afternoon nap. Today she is back to only napping on me and seems to be in the thick of a three month growth spurt, but I take the changes as they come. Some days I'm on top of it all, and others the best I can do is keep us both fed and clothed, I think that's all par for the course. 


Friday, December 14, 2012

Just Thinking You Know

Just wanting to check in and say hello while Iz snoozes a few more minutes. Today she actually wanted a nap out of my arms, she actually insisted upon it, so I was able to finish her knit ball for Christmas. It turned out quite huge, but she will grow into it over time and it was a lot of fun to make. And now, now that I have time to actually type, I'm not quite so sure what to say. There are so many posts in my drafts folder, but there they will remain until I have a bit more time to give them. Iz has definitely calmed down a bit this past week and even fell asleep sitting in her Dad's arms while at my Mom's house last Sunday. That has never happened. Also, at home she has not been all that fussy, but still touch and go on the nap front. Yesterday she snuggled up to me napping for three hours while I read and today she only wanted to swing it seems, whatever works to get her the sleep she needs. 

I'm doing okay myself. Still struggling to find time to take care of myself as I should, but that is getting better here and there. This week I have made sure to stop for an actual lunch each day, made easier by a somewhat calmer baby, and I will try to keep building from there. I think things like showering when E's not home and working on projects will be easier to work on when she has more of a regular napping routine in the future, but for now I'm just going with it. Also, in January I am going to challenge myself to get out and about to attend La Leche League meetings, nursing mom meet-ups, first Fridays with the leader of our birth classes, and so on, just whatever I can do to get little lady and myself out of the house. I think it would be good for both of us. When it's warmer out we'll be spending a lot of time walking and exploring outdoors, but we need to be around other Moms and babies as well, so I think those places are good ones to start with, things that don't cost money, are attended by similarly minded people, and that have a relaxed breastfeeding friendly atmosphere. Making new friends as an adult is hard, and I can be really introverted at first, but I at least want to try. I really think getting out and connecting with others even once a week could make a world of a difference, even if it is hard at first. I wasn't really ready before, but now I am and I really look forward to seeing how it all goes. At least I'll keep convincing myself it's a good idea until it actually happens.

Other than that, we are good. It was wonderful having my sister here for the weekend, challenging with the dogs, but so very worth it. Talking in person rather than over the phone is so different and so much better and I really enjoyed that time together while it lasted. It was also amazing to see my two nieces again. I'm shocked by how much they have grown and changed just in the last few months. My brother and my nephew came up as well and oh man, that nephew, how do kids grow so fast? It all really makes me wonder what Iz will be like as she grows older, not only in looks, but also in personality. What will her voice sound like, what will her favorite activities be, what foods will she most prefer? I am really looking forward to getting to experience every day with her and to continue watching my other favorite little people grow as well. It really does make you feel much older once everyone starts having kids and really gives you a new perspective. And to imagine Iz could one day choose to have children herself...we won't even go there yet. 


Friday, December 7, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 4

trimmed tree / boots & books / another of Izzy's corners / last of my subscription and other treasures through the mail

So many thoughts need to get out of my mind and onto a page, but I cannot seem to find a spare minute to get them out, not even in my private paper journal. I love my baby girl more than anything in the world, but what I wouldn't give for just thirty minutes a day alone with some empty pages, a cup of tea, and a warm sweater. If we're being honest, which I almost always am, I would probably really end up with my face smashed down upon the pages, drool soaking them to the spine, and a cup of tea rapidly cooling by my side, but I suppose those drool stains would tell their own sort of story. A story of a new mom who is trying to catch a grip, but having a rough go of it this week. Sweetest I has only been taking naps if smashed up against me, preferably boob in mouth. No carriers allowed, no swinging, and don't even think about putting her down for a moment. This is all fine for the most part, and I am sure it's just another thing that will morph into something new before I know it, but I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't note that it has been tough. I soak up the cuddles and enjoy them while they last, yet know that I must take care of myself too and I haven't been doing a great job of that. Oh, and I may have just told the dogs that if they bark I will slaughter them all...I told you we were being honest...and also that I've been having a rough go of it...and we all know that the closest I would come to slaughter is making them go outside for a minute to give me some room to breathe. The baby is finally sleeping, on her own, and I will probably start crying if anyone ruins that.

Yesterday really was the hardest day since my girl has been born, but not for any real reasons beyond my just feeling a bit overwhelmed and also emotional over family matters. Luckily, I woke up on better footing, knowing today would be different, for my sister is coming for the weekend, E is off for the next three days, and my Mom came over this morning for a visit while also running to the grocery store with me and lending a hand. And would you believe it? Little darlin' is asleep right this minute, something I was fearing I would never see again. And that cup of tea? It's right here beside me, still warm. I think we might just be heading for another upswing and I'm going to do my darndest to keep us there. I never go down without a fight.


Monday, December 3, 2012

Learning Patience

You would think with a nearly ten week old baby at home that a title like "Learning Patience" may have something to do with her and the care-taking that is involved when you are responsible for caring for a little human, but no, you would be mistaken. Take a good long look at those cuties up there, looking so innocent and well-behaved as they lounge together. Cute, right? I myself can even admit they are totally adorable, but on days like today I have to wonder how crazy I really am to think I will come out on top, the equation looks more like 1 cat + 3 dogs + 1 baby = one frazzled mama. Really, it is usually not so bad and we get by, but today, oh today, me and I walked out into the family room after getting her all dry and cozy after a fun time in the bath, she didn't even cry when having to get out of the water. I was feeling like Super Mama and began stacking the pillows just so in preparation for nursing my little lady before what I was sure would be a snuggly nap for her and a little free time for me. In a last step of preparation I fetched myself a large glass of cool water and sat it on a tray near the couch before trying to get to the couch myself. That's when I nearly tripped over a cat who refused to move and when nudging her to the side that sweet swirly dog you see above decided to pounce, as he tends to do, causing a flurry of chaos as I see my water crash to the ground with glass and water flying every which way. I was a patient girl as she waited for her meal and I hurried to grab towels and gather glass out from under four sets of curious paws. I quickly cleaned up and all was well, another cup of water was fetched, in one of our few plastic cups this time, and I was finally able to scoop our girl back up for her meal. A few minutes in and I hear another crash, looking over to see Jasper's bowl broken to pieces, food and slivers of ceramic all over the floor, a cat looking down on her work from a perch above and an always hungry chihuahua trying to get at the food himself. I soon finished nursing I and moved on to sweeping up the latest in the furry path of destruction when what do I hear but an ornament fall to the ground as a cat goes rocketing off across the room. Oh dear.

Those moments, those times of seemingly endless chaos and clean ups are enough to keep a head spinning, but I am doing my best to turn them around. Rather than letting these occurrences send me into a state of stress, I am choosing to look at them as lessons in patience. This will not be the last time a glass will break or my day will be thrown off by something unexpected. So, I calmly clean up the mess, and then the other. I keep moving the ornaments up higher and higher and I hand out a cuddle here and a head scratch there and try my best to let it all go, to do what needs to be done and realize we are all just living our lives, all of us following different agendas, but sharing the same space, and it's better I practice patience with the animals now before our girl is making messes of her own. Really, I am lucky, for glasses to break, for a home for them to be broken inside of, for clean water for drinking and a plentiful stack of towels for cleaning up said water when it is spilled. Patience can be a tricky one to get a handle of, but it seems I will have plenty of chances to practice.