Thursday, November 29, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 3

swirly bag of bones / lights that warm my heart every time / someone has been working hard / holding on to autumn a bit longer / delicious cold weather foods

I am learning more and more to just let go, to give up any idea of a schedule or strict to-do list and to just tune into I's rhythms and my own, and also ours together. There are still chores to be done and projects to be completed, but I'm finding that they follow a new sort of timeline, one that accounts for sudden bouts of cluster-feeding or an impromptu cuddle session in bed, one that is better suited to keeping me sane. Plus, just when I think there is some sort of routine it changes once again, as is the nature of making home with a little one. Better at this point to have no expectations and just ride the waves as they come because just after a night of very little sleep a night like this last one will come along and give me the much-needed hours my body was craving. You just never really know what's around the next corner and I'm starting to appreciate that as a good thing.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 2

Moments on Instant Film

Little miss seems to be having quite the growth spurt as the past couple days she has wanted nothing more than to eat and to stay snuggled against me sleeping all day and night. If I move her for even a moment it seems the instant she realizes our skin is not touching she cries out for me. Obviously this has made for a lazy week of lounging and snuggling, but I decided early into it to give in and enjoy this cozy time with her. Plus, her little nose is kept just close enough that I can reach my lips down to give it a little kiss, and her hair is at just the right angle for my hand to run through it. If she wants her Mama, I'll be here, snuggled around her for the rest of the day, browsing the internet between taking in whiffs of her milky breath and strokes of her squishy little cheeks. I don't think that's a bad way to spend my day.

But later, when E is home, or if I decide to strap her into a carrier, I will escape to the kitchen to whip up a pumpkin cheesecake and to make myself a cup of tea while basking in the happiness that is a much needed four-day weekend with my loves. We may not have much when it comes to money or material things, but we have so much love for each other, and I don't think it gets much better than that.


Monday, November 19, 2012

Answers and Reflections

A couple of days ago Lauren over at Crumb Bums nominated me for a Liebster Award. I think that basically means she asks the questions and I answer, so here ya go!

Pretty Ladies

1. Favorite band/musician?  There are so many songs that set things right in my soul, but one band that holds a special place in my heart is The Mountain Goats. There is a day I remember with such clarity. I was lying in the yard of the intern house during my stint at a farm animal sanctuary in upstate New York. With a pen in one hand, scribbling thoughts into a journal, cows grazing to my left and hens pecking to my right, sun shining down and warming my skin after a couple of rough winter months of working outdoors, and with The Mountain Goats playing on my portable speaker, I felt more at peace and more happy than I had in years. That moment provided me with so much clarity at the time.

2. What is the household chore you secretly enjoy (or don’t mind) doing? Anything in the kitchen. Although we have a dishwasher in this home and I very rarely wash our dishes by hand I actually really enjoy doing so. Really though, most things in the kitchen are enjoyable to me, cooking dinner, baking, making pickles, dishes, organizing, just about all of it. I really hope for our next home to have a large warm kitchen that can become the hub of our home.

3. If you had to choose one place to live for the rest of your life, where would it be? This question is tough for me. So many places tug at my heartstrings, but the one place I always long for is New York, upstate of course. My months spent there were so wonderful, but not only because of the work I was doing, I really fell in love with the land. With rolling hills, gorges, and abundant lakes all of my needs were fulfilled, the hills and gorges perfect for hiking and the enormous lakes perfect for kayaking. I think I could really be happy there for a long time.

4. In lieu of the upcoming holiday; pies: pumpkin or pecan? I'm going to go hide under a table for protection and then say I'm not really a big fan of pies. I am starting to come around in my older years as I find the good quality ones, but this season I'm sticking to making a vegan pumpkin cheesecake and calling it a day, a very tasty day.

5. What are your favorite things to place atop a burger? First let's talk about the burger. I need a base of a handmade black bean burger and lightly toasted whole wheat bun to wrap it all together. To top that beauty give me a crunchy leaf of romaine lettuce, a few slices of avocado, a few quality bread and butter pickles, and a smidge of organic ketchup, a bit of spicy mustard or some veganaise depending on my mood.

6. Do you believe in ghosts? I really don't know. The whole idea of ghosts is kind of confusing to me, but I'm also afraid to say I don't believe in ghosts and then having something creepy happen to me. I will say that I have memories of waking up in my first memorable home and seeing men and women dressed in victorian-like attire sitting around and atop our living room furniture across the hall. Thinking of this gives me shivers.

7. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen? Not yet, hopefully not ever.

8. Wearing socks to bed: do or don’t? Normally it's a huge don't, but lately when our girl is sleeping with me I wear socks to keep warm as I'm unable to roll myself up into my usual cocoon.

9. What do you consider your biggest accomplishment thus far? Giving birth to my daughter. Having her at home and on my own terms and being able to tap into a part of myself that was so strong and capable was so important to me and something that I really needed. I'm sure I'll get around to sharing the entire story one day, when I'm ready.

10. What do you consider the funniest part of parenting? I'm not even two months in, so do not have many experiences to go pull from, but you know when you have spit up running down your body and a baby grunting out a poo while you hold her to your chest? How can you not laugh at that. Oh, and just this morning I let out a deep sigh as I felt liquid gushing down the front of me as I was certain she had a diaper leak and I was covered with pee. E took her to change her diaper and clothes but found her to be dry. What was really happening? Oh, you know, just a strong and steady stream of breast milk flowing down my body. Kind of hilarious really.

11. How do you take your coffee (this is important, you know, so I can buy you the right one when we hopefully meet- or meet again- someday)? Mmm. I like a basic soy latte. I had my first today after over ten months without one and it was delightful.

With an Old Friend

Thanks for the questions Lauren!


Friday, November 16, 2012

On My Mind, On My Heart

Our Kitchen Window

It is rare these days that I have the time to just sit and write, letting the words just come rather than planning ahead. With our girl keeping me very busy and my hands craving knitting needles and soft yarns rather than computer keys that leaves only a few spare moments here and there for straight from the heart sharing. Do you ever feel like one single rather simple thing would change your life in drastic ways? I am not speaking of happenings such as stumbling upon a large amount of money, but a small thing, for instance, my sister moving home. She is only four hours away right now, but often times four hours does not feel much better than forty, for it still keeps us from seeing one another very often, and now with both of us having newborn daughters at home and her already having another daughter to care for as well, our phone time is also drastically reduced. I hold out hope though because I know she will be coming back, it is just a matter of time. In under two years we will be walking through the Botanical Garden together with our kids in tow, we will be enjoying dinner together in one another's homes, we will be able to see each other on every special occasion rather than having to pick and choose. I dream of those days and while I might some day want to live in another state I don't know if we ever will because I also dream of big family picnics and seeing each others homes decorated for Christmas. I crave bringing the kids to paint pottery together and having my sister there for the birth of our next child. I am lucky that my sister is not only a sister but also a friend, and while we don't always see eye to eye on everything and both have strong personalities, I want to be able to see those eyes in person, even when we both may have a different view. Basically, I just miss her.

Otherwise, life is pleasant, it's pretty good, and yes, I can even expect a visit from my sister in early December. This week has left me feeling inspired to continue working toward living the life I imagine for myself and doing the things I love. Dinners have been prepared each evening, and while they are not always eaten while still warm it's a start. Knitting projects have been worked on a little at a time, with this ball currently in progress for our gal and many more projects being dreamed of. Dog bellies have been rubbed and a husband has been hugged and by golly, I think we are doing okay.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 1

I's wall above her dresser/changing station / little elephant legs / baskets of books / another corner of her room...slowly coming together / cotton and wood toys for our sweet girl

These days my moments are filled with all things baby and I love just about every moment of it. My eyes are tired, my back can get sore, and with four pets and a baby our house can get to looking quite scary, but there is no stage of life I would rather be in. I am used to being under-slept, I have plans in place to strengthen my back, and if I don't get around to vacuuming the floor today it can always happen tomorrow.